I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
