NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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