apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
i drank out of a bidet.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
