I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
