These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
