This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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