somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
We left an ass print on the piano.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
