It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
ugly people sure do ruin things
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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