Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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