Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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