A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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