Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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