I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Randomize
