thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
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