I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
