we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
