He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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