wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
