don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
