I wanna passion pit in your ass
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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