So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
