Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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