It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
a search helicopter?!
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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