That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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