T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
