We won't sleep together?
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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