How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
It was confusing and full of hummus
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize