i just had sex bonerless
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
