would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
