Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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