Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
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