i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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