i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize