You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
This is the high leading the old right now
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
