So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
It's blow job season.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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