Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
