It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Randomize
