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This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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