i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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