have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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