Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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