If i come over, it means nothing
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize