you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
