Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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