Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
