like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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