The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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