you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
You are the jesus of drinking
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I touched a dick in church today
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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