strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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