and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
