He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
