And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
