Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
