Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
He's a Shit stain on my heart
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Randomize
