Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize