either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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