sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
You made out with two different species that night
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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