I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
