Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
