i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
