i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
