we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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