my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
